Smile on a Gray Day

I won’t lie: I am exhausted today.

Sleeping at night is tough; I have a hard time finding a comfortable position, and once I do, I wake up with heavy, numb feet and an achy back from staying in one position too long.

This week was busy with doctor’s visits and physical training, and all of it caught up with me. Darla will be coming over soon and I hope the session gives me energy and strength like it did yesterday. I’m hopeful it will.

The weather today is particularly dreary and not aiding my exhaustion; wintery, gray skies and cooler weather that would be more tolerable if the Florida sun shined.

Yet there is some eternal sunshine: I received the family holiday photos we took earlier this month and seeing them overwhelmed me with happiness and gratitude. A friend of mine told me to document one thing I am grateful for and today it is Jim and Viviana. They are my reasons for being; the reason I push myself to getting better; and the reason I can find sunshine on a cloudy day.

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I keep telling myself, “This isn’t going to be easy, and it’s going to take time.” I want, more than anyone else, to be fully recovered now and be able to be the sun in my family’s day again.

But I can still do that, and keep my smile, even if I’m exhausted and not in the mood for much else. It takes some altering and changing, but they know I am doing my best.

And as long as I have their smiling faces looking back at me, it’s all worth it, and whatever happens to me during this recovery, it will be okay.

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